the intellectual redneck ninja surfer

The other day I  needed to go to the emergency room. 
Not wanting to sit there for 4  hours, I put on my MAGIC GREEN HAT. 
When I went into the E.R., I noticed  that 3/4 of the people got up and left. 

I guess they decided that  they weren’t that sick after all. 
Cut at least 3 hours off my waiting  time. 

Here’s the hat. 

It also works at  DMV. It saved me 5 hours. 

At the Laundromat, three minutes after  entering, I had my choice of any machine, most still  running.

But…don’t try it at  McDonald’s. The  whole crew got up and left and l never got my  order!